Some days things are much harder

I find that sometimes good news is not actually that great. Discovering people's secrets, hearing things third hand, and everything else can make getting through the day very difficult. Anyways I should look past the hard choices realizing that they will past just because that's how life is also. Time will past, people will change, and who we are, who we become is every changing.

Choices

Choices are what we make in life. Choices influence what we do, where we go, and how happy we are. The time to make a choice is never the right time but we have to live by those choices.

I know I should make some choices but ... do I want to?

Loving the life

There are times when I realize my life is really really really good. I have friends, family, and a very interesting life. I don't have to worry about money (most of the time), job, or school anymore.

This last weekend I had a great time beginning with watching the Mayweather/Mosely fight at Red Zone. Then we headed to Confidential where every one there is the best, taking care of you, and just chill friends. We ended up meeting up with Hoa and her friends.

Looking people like Jenna who can up and go to Costa Rica, I admire the quality in a person to realize that sometimes there are things in life you have to do and cannot wait. Amazing when you think ... I hope that this year I will be heading on a longer vacation like I used to do. Maybe it will be Dubai, Paris, or anywhere in between.

I picked up a 52" LED Sony tv this weekend ... ouch need to get that spending under control as I can't keep buying myself new toys.

Life is good, can't wait til I get to share it with someone special, are you out there? LOL

A look back

Wow looking back in the short time that has passed by since I was in a relationship over a year ago makes me wonder what a difference a year makes. The person who so suddenly swept in due to so many factors then could not deal with my unwillingness to commit is very far gone from my life. She definitely was a factor, from the time I met her seeing her again after a period of distance and th final closing of the circle when we closed our gap between us. She opened me to much new things including the world of country music, life and happiness, and disappointment.

I have moved on yet in a way I and yet there are moments that freeze in time. In a way I am still unsure of where I am going, will go, and end up. The likelihood is I will run into it and experience the high, the lows, and everything until I meet my match.


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Does this mean your better than me?

Funny thing in life is that you meet all sorts of people. Some become friends, some lovers, some ex- lovers, and some are there only for the blink of an eye.

The ones that makes me wonder most are those that decide for whatever reason that your no longer worth being a friend are most upsetting. Not upsetting in a tear jerker help me way but more like the value of friendship is demeaned by the action.

Twice I have met people become friends and somehow lost the connection that brought us together in the first place. Maybe the mixing of a man and a woman is much to complex without throwing in all the other issues that come with it. I hope that someday we will resolve our issues and resume the friendship we once had.

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The time has come to start a new day

It has been a while since I have updated this blog of mine. Much has happened in the short time that I last put my thoughts for everyone to read.

I became a homeowner, made new friends, lost friends, had relationships, ended relationships, and in between provide my kids with a father who tried his best to provide the best.

Throughout that time I have grown, changed my thinking, looked forwards and backwards, and tried to rediscover who I am. I still desire the partner in life who will complete the better half of me, convince me to take risks, and explore life's lessons.

Today is a new day and I look forward to tomorrow.

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The 35th birthday

I celebrated the weekend with friends and family and the Thin/Onyx crowd. Friday night we all had a good time at Voyeur and Saturday we partied hard at Thin. Lets end the month with a bang for Halloween.

Time to start another diet

Things are going well but it is time to loose the extra baggage so time for some serious dieting. Back to restricted caloric intake, lots of cardio, and more strength training. I will plan better my schedule ... time to get in shape for the big 35 this year.

This completely sucks

I have been fairly healthy, working out pretty good and I am FAT. My heaviest since marriage. I know what I have to do and so not its a matter of actually doing it. Cut out the alcohol, exercise more, and cut back on dinner. August is coming right around the corner so I better start now.

I guess time to cutback on Confidential and their yummy food. Anyways need to get some more sleep and get my butt up and running at the break of dawn.

Summer of 2009

The summer is always a fun time as our family comes together from across the world. The parties are plenty, the food is too much, and the drinking becomes excessive. But this is why summers are so wonderful here in San Diego. So I think that this blog is now becoming less important due to the widespread use of Facebook.

However there are people, friends and all that would like to keep in touch and so I will use this nice little blog to keep updated. Come visit me on facebook

My Profile

Shanghai 15 Days

Aug 17 – Arrive in Shanghai after a long journey across the Pacific. Wen Jie Xi was also on the plane to visit her sick father. The plane lands at about 6:00 pm local time and we clear customs by 7pm. Lulu is not there but luckily Wen’s sister-in-law is there so I can call Lulu. Lulu finally arrives at the airport and we jump into a taxi to head back to the condo before meeting her cousins for dinner. We go back to the condo and I take a shower. After 14 hours on the plane, I needed to scrub my body to get the clean feeling again. We have dinner with Lulu’s cousins who help Lulu with traveling from Bengbu to Shanghai. It is my first time to see Vince. He is so dark and small at first glance. So strange to look at my son and wonder.

Aug 18 – We head to the American Consulate in Shanghai early in the morning in order to get the most important thing taken care of which is to get Vince a US Passport. We head there and have breakfast at McDonalds, then we head to the Consulate. We see many Chinese waiting in line and are worried when Lulu tells the guard I am an American citizen they speed us to the beginning of the line. Wow what a feeling as a US citizen. We go to the American Citizen Services area and are directed to fill out the paperwork, then a consular officer came over swore us to the truth and 10 minutes later we were done. Then we had to wait since they said the passport could take 10 business days. They would email us when it was ready. Let the waiting begin.

Aug 20 – We head to the train station to travel to Hangzhou while waiting for the passport to get processed. Arriving at the train station, it is a mad house, screaming shouting all from one Chinese to another. We buy first class tickets and travel in comfort to Hangzhou. The train ride is about 1 hour and 20 minutes which is way quicker than the old train. Arriving in Hangzhou, the wait for the taxi was almost 30 minutes and it was in an underground tunnel. After getting in to the taxi we head to the hotel which was a really nice 5 star hotel. We head to ChaMate for dinner and enjoy dinner with dessert Bao Bing.

Aug 21 – We wake up and plan to head to the mountains. First we go to grab breakfast and during this time I think I ate something bad. I knew after a little while I was not feeling well. We went back to the room to rest planning to grab a little lunch and then head into the mountains for some hiking. After lunch I felt ill so we headed back to the hotel. That evening I wanted American style food so we went to eat at the hotel where I ordered a steak sandwich. That evening I got even more sick … food poisoning.

Aug 22 – Today we are supposed to head back to Shanghai, I am sick, with a fever, stomach ache and diarrhea. We go to Sailin’s house for lunch where I have no appetite. While there we check Lulu’s email and were greeted with good news. Vince’s passport was ready for pickup. We were so happy and jumping up and down hugging each other. After lunch we head to Kerry and Yi Beng’s home in the suburbs. It is a really nice place and we spend the afternoon there. Later we go to dinner and after dinner I get the chills really bad. I start shaking from it and we head back to Kerry’s home to wait for a taxi. While there I was feeling horrible.
When we got back to the condo, Lulu checked my temp and it was 39.8 C which was high enough that Lulu was worried. She took me to the hospital. At the hospital they made me pay 20 Yuan to check my temperature, then 18 to see the doctor, then 18 to test my blood and finally another 41 for my shot and medicines. Considering it was quite crowded with many sick people, I was lucky to get done so quickly. Oh the kicker the shot they gave me was in my ass.

Aug 23 – Went out to dinner with Lulu’s co-workers from Ritz Tours. We had dinner at a nice restaurant with her co-workers that I had met once before when they came to the US. Afterwards Lulu's co-worker drove us back to the condo.

Aug 25 – Went to consulate to pickup passport for Vince. Afterwards we went over to the exit-entry bureau in order to get Vince an exit visa. After some work, we were able to get the paperwork required and will return two days later to get the visa.

Aug 27 - We go out to dinner with Lulu's co-workers from her first job. The retired director has me seated next to him as a seat of honor. If course that meant I had to drink this horrible yellow rice wine ... talk about moonshine. Later on I switch to red wine but get pretty good and buzzed at the end of the night. After dinner we are taken home by director's personal driver.

Aug 28 - We go out to dinner at a nice restaurant with friends, walk down to the Bunde and get some dessert. The river has many nice spots and little shops to eat at.

Sep 1 - We get up early to finish packing for our return trip to the US. We arrive early at the airport and get some lunch at KFC. It took a little while to checkin as our luggage was overweight. We take off and land in Los Angeles 12 hours later. US CBP give Lulu trouble for her expired green card and we end up spending an extra 45 minutes waiting for her to clear customs. We finally arrive home around 4PM and Justin does not recognize either one of us at first.

I'm leaving on an airplane.

Well I am on my packing getting ready to go on another trip to China. It is strange and exciting at the same time to think that I am heading back to a country and city that has offered me so much and yet has taken so much. I am hoping that the embassy will be forthcoming in getting the passport for Vince so that we can all come back together on the plane. That would be ideal however it may not be the way it was meant to be.

Anyways spending two weeks off will be good to get me ready for the harsh time of school and work again.

My Strengths according to StrengthsFinder

Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away.
Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.

Context
You look back. You look back because that is where the answers lie. You look back to understand the present. From your vantage point the present is unstable, a confusing clamor of competing voices. It is only by casting your mind back to an earlier time, a time when the plans were being drawn up, that the present regains its stability. The earlier time was a simpler time. It was a time of blueprints. As you look back, you begin to see these blueprints emerge. You realize what the initial intentions were. These blueprints or intentions have since become so embellished that they are almost unrecognizable, but now this Context theme reveals them again. This understanding brings you confidence. No longer disoriented, you make better decisions because you sense the underlying structure. You become a better partner because you understand how your colleagues came to be who they are. And counterintuitively you become wiser about the future because you saw its seeds being sown in the past. Faced with new people and new situations, it will take you a little time to orient yourself, but you must give yourself this time. You must discipline yourself to ask the questions and allow the blueprints to emerge because no matter what the situation, if you haven’t seen the blueprints, you will have less confidence in your decisions.

Communication
You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. This is your Communication theme at work. Ideas are a dry beginning. Events are static. You feel
a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid. And so you turn events into stories and practice telling them. You take the dry idea and enliven it with images and examples and metaphors. You believe that most people have a very short attention span. They are bombarded by information, but very little of it survives. You want your information—whether an idea, an event, a product’s features and benefits, a discovery, or a lesson—to survive. You want to divert their attention toward you and then capture it, lock it in. This is what drives your hunt for the perfect phrase. This is what draws you toward dramatic words and powerful word combinations. This is why people like to listen to you. Your word pictures pique their interest, sharpen their world, and inspire them to act.

Maximizer
Excellence, not average, is your measure. Taking something from below average to slightly above average takes a great deal of effort and in your opinion is not very rewarding. Transforming something strong into something superb takes just as much effort but is much more thrilling. Strengths, whether yours or someone else’s, fascinate you. Like a diver after pearls, you search them out, watching for the telltale signs of a strength. A glimpse of untutored excellence, rapid learning, a skill mastered without recourse to steps—all these are clues that a strength may be in play. And having found a strength, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it toward excellence. You polish the pearl until it shines. This natural sorting of strengths means that others see you as discriminating. You choose to spend time with people who appreciate your particular strengths. Likewise, you are attracted to others who seem to have found and cultivated their own strengths. You tend to avoid those who want to fix you and make you well rounded. You don’t want to spend your life bemoaning what you lack. Rather, you want to capitalize on the gifts with which you are blessed. It’s more fun. It’s more productive. And, counterintuitively, it is more demanding.

Learner
You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of
time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Many years of research conducted by The Gallup Organization suggest that the most effective people are those who understand their strengths and behaviors. These
people are best able to develop strategies to meet and exceed the demands of their daily lives, their careers, and their families.
A review of the knowledge and skills you have acquired can provide a basic sense of your abilities, but an awareness and understanding of your natural talents will provide
true insight into the core reasons behind your consistent successes.
Your Signature Themes report presents your five most dominant themes of talent, in the rank order revealed by your responses to StrengthsFinder. Of the 34 themes
measured, these are your "top five."
Your Signature Themes are very important in maximizing the talents that lead to your successes. By focusing on your Signature Themes, separately and in combination,
you can identify your talents, build them into strengths, and enjoy personal and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.

Can a lover ever be a friend??

So this question was posed to me by an ex-co-worker ... and at first I was thinking usually not except in those cases where kids are involved. Yet it's not true, one of my most true friends is unbelievably an old lover. We were both younger, with me being around 26 and she being 21. She worked with me and through some twist of fate, she and I became close.

I think that we were completely honest, that there was never any deception between us concerning how we felt, what paths our life was taking, and bitterness. We went our separate ways and yet there were times that we came back together. Interestingly to this day, she remains a friend with whom I can trust my feelings and deepest thoughts.

She was wonderful and down to earth, amazing personality, and had a beautiful smile. It was good that during this tough time I was able to call her and see her and get consoled and counseled by her. Life is funny like that, the friends who are truly your friends will be there to pick you up when you fall down.

Time to start packing

Another trip to take care of some business in China. The burden of everything is certainly weighing me down and I am beginning to wonder when will the challenges end and the good stuff begin. I guess this is just the first step of many to clean up remnants of what we call life.

Well here we go again ... long ass pain ride and into the unknown.

Tonight was a party to remember

I went over to Patrick's house for a party and Daniel, Lily, and Hana came along. We were drinking mojitos, Whiskey shots, and beers. We ate, we talked, and we had a good time. Just as we were all leaving the cops pulled up and said a neighbor had complained that the noise was too loud.

I saw them as I was about to leave so I jumped out of my car and went back inside the house. Then the cops gave some bullshit excuse as to why they were there at the house.

I waited a while for the cops to leave before heading home. What a night, the mojitos, the whiskey and the party that was good for the evening.

The summer that began

I guess it is time to recap the last several months because so much has happened that it almost would make a good script for Days of our Lives. Many changes have occurred, in my professional life, my personal life, and my love life. Each started shifting and changing with the inclusion and removal of stimuli. Luckily in life, love, and happiness, the key to sustaining yourself begins with yourself.

To begin with, Lulu and I decided a divorce was the only option, (at least in each others eyes). It was something that was decided in clarity but yet in a haze because this most difficult of choices is not an easy one to follow through on. The decisions were made, Lulu went back to China to have the baby and get some personal peace.

My personal views of this difficult decision makes it seem that maybe I do not understand the way a relationship should function but in a way I just do. This means I am hoping for the best, plan for the worst, and continue to live life, bringing my kids up as best as I can.

So to begin with, after Lulu left for China, the time was filled with school and work. Friends and family supported me during this difficult period. Family tried to make sure that everything I did was to make sure the right decisions were made, friends made sure that I was handling everything ok. I had friends that I could count on to help me through but I had a friend who was supportive and tried to make the rough times easier. Well unfortunately through some rather bad decisions on my part, the friend who helped me through the tough times is no longer around.
I am not sure what happened, but I misunderstood a lot to loose my friend.

During the summer I drove out to Vegas and stayed at the Monte Carlo for several days. It was a fun trip. The trip was eventful with us seeing several shows like David Copperfield and Mama Mia and going out to several nice dinners. We even went to see a timeshare thing hoping to cash in but due to a technicality we were disqualified. It was my most enjoyable trip out to Vegas yet.

The last week has been tough, I have been stuck in bed with a badly sprained neck. I was on muscle relaxants and slept for basically several days. Wake up take drugs, eat, sleep, then more drugs. Finally today I was able to feel normal again.

I was lucky enough to have lunch with an old friend I have known for more than 8 years now. She worked with me back in the day at San Diego Transit. After all that we have been through, we still remain good friends. These are the types of relationships I treasure, friends that are there through thick and thin.

As I end this note, I am planning to go back to China to pickup Vince and Lulu. This way Vince will be an American Citizen and get his US passport to come back to the US. This whole summer did not go the way I had planned, the events that took place are beyond my control and even though I wish I could bend time and rollback the hands of time, I know that is not possible. I hope that one day I will mend fences, that my kids will grow up fine, and that I realize that anytime a person offers happiness to you, do not look at it with curiosity but grab it with both hands and don't let go.

Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same.

The above quote is quite fitting as I end this note. Amazing the people who can leave the footprints on our hearts are not who we always expect.

Vince Quach is born June 16 at 8AM

Lulu gave birth to Vince (8 lbs) & 21" at 11:55 China time. (8:55 AM USA) Mother and baby are fine. Labor was fairly short so amazing. She did it with no epidural which is amazing.

Its a boy

Friday we went for the ultrasound and discovered the next one popping out is another boy. So his name will be Vince, Lulu likes the name, it is the same name as Vince Flynn who writes those great Mitch Rapp books, and the names means conquering. We shall see if it fits.

Firestorm 2007

So for the last 3 days we have been evacuating from house to house avoiding the fires that hit San Diego. Amazingly our house survived and we were able to return home today. Several homes were burned in the neighborhood but it was quite the adventure ... anyways what a couple of days this turned out to be.

Good news ... Lulu got a job offer from RSM and possibly another with EY.